Saltwater... take two

New Photo Page

I've set up another page on this thing for photos, and am planning to add some pics of trips, walks, family and friends. You may even find a couple of yours truly in there, so check out: http://saltwater.typepad.com/pictures/

Let's Hear it for Bangkok

Continuing with the Thailand theme (next trip up there this coming weekend thanks very much), I took my girlfriend up to Bangkok a couple of weeks ago.  Brave you may say, and still in two minds about what she made of it all.  It is one crazy city.

Its quickly become one of my favourite cities to visit, only two hours from Singapore and very interesting interesting in every sense of the word.  Population ten million plus, hot, smelly, stuff going on everywhere you look.  It is not a relaxing trip away by any means, but highly recommended - by me.

Train through the middle of town, I love this kind of stuff...

In the 'old town' its all about the Canals.  Here's one with a longboat-full of tourists cruising around...

And a few more longboats stashed along the river, waiting for the 'not-so-quiet times'...

We hired a longboat and did a cruise along the canals.  Fascinating stuff... people literally living on the water.  And ladies in other boats that come up and sell you beer.  Happy days...

Back on solid ground, and walking through Chinatown.  This was a seafood stall, which smelled wonderful in the heat of the Bangkok day...

Once the sun goes down, vans parked along the street become makeshift party-centrals, which is quite frankly completely awesome...

And the view from the top of the Banyan Tree, where I believe a scene from The Hangover 2 was filmed... will have to take their word for it as have not seen it yet...

Muppet

OK following on from the recent thread about missing out on Fatboy Slim (FBS) in Singapore, due to being away in Bangkok, something of a revelation while we were away - FBS playing a ONS (one-off-show) at some exhibition hall in BKK (Bangkok) the Friday night we were there.  Thai redbull + Thai whisky + FBS = a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Somewhat dampened by the fact I only reaslied this on the Saturday morning, while trawling through the absolute maze that is Chatuchak Markets (more to follow), I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact chasing the dance music conga line is more trouble than its worth.  Which maybe just a nicer way of saying I'm getting too old for this shit...

Photos of Bangkok will follow this weekend hopefully, at least its down on a to-do list somewhere, in the meantime a list of Podcasts worth checking out, that get me through the long and ronery Singapore nights when I'm not in Thailand these days, and can at least party like its 2009 again...

First up Gareth Emery, # 7 DJ in the world I believe, last seen at Zouk and the single-handed reason I had to stay out all night and fly to India for the first time with the hangover of the century (and let me assure you India is not the kind of place you want to visit hungover).  Well worth it though.

The Garety Emery Podcast.  Token Tune:  Gareth Emery Sanctuary

 

Next up, DJ of the moment, and just confirmed to play Avalon at Large in Singapore, on Grand Prix weekend.  Sander van Doorn.  Again last seen at Zouk, I think.  Was very hammered that weekend.  Game on.  Certified fresh... by me:

 

And the old favourite, Above and Beyond, Trance Around the World.  Last seen at Avalon at Large, Singapore.  Great podcast when you need two hours worth of music to make it to the gym, work out, and head home when they're bringing the podcast home with a bang... for a bit of 'Saltwater time'.  The next batch is due for a listed tomorrow... so to sign off, the Madonna remix (cheese alert), with the remix so good Madonna made this the 'official' version of this tune:

 

The DeeJay Thread

I'm still recovering from a weekend away with a few of the Singapore gang up in Phuket last weekend where more than a few drinks were had.  Didn't make for a very pleasant week back at work, especially being the first full five day week I've done since early April-ish.

Next weekend a friend is having a 'barbie' and has asked me along to belt out a few choons, on a friends' CD decks which should be good fun.  Haven't played in a long time so may be a bit rusty, haven't even been out since about March when we went to see Laurent Garnier, of Man With the Red Face fame.  And the time before that was early February when I went to check out Gareth Emery, then had to fly to India the next day which is not something I would recommend to anyone (flying to India I mean, not Gareth Emery, he's bloody good)...

To be honest I'm a bit gutted about the whole DJ thing at the moment as two of the three I'd like to see most seem to have something against me:

Deadmau5:  Played in Singapore a few weeks ago.  Had to throw out the cannot lah as was on a plane to Phuket that night.

Fatboy Slim:  Playing week after next, and alas, cannot lah again as will be on a plane to Bangkok. 

Dammit.  Its almost like these DJs are waiting for me to book a trip away before committing to play over here...

So all this talk of DJs got me thinking about great DJs of our time, and maybe its a sign of getting old but at the moment I can't get past Wolfman Jack, of American Graffiti fame:

Such a good movie.  And deemed so important it was added to the U.S. National Film Registry.  This was the Fatboy Slim or Deadmau5 moment of our parents (or maybe their parents) generation, and there is so much to like about the story:

• The station depicted in the film, XERB, was known as a 'Border Buster' and broadcast from Mexico into the USA with so much power one could drive from New York to LA and 'never lose signal' (Wiki)
• This movie launched the careers of Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, and Harrison Ford, among many others
• With a budget of $777,000 resulting in over $140 million in revenue, percentage-wise American Graffiti is the 9th most profitable film of all time
• Directed by George Lucas, American Graffiti should not be overlooked by fans of other genres: the return on his investment in this film allowed him to fire up his Space Opera project, which later became the Star Wars project
• In terms of the soundtrack, few films can compete with deals struck with most of the major record labels of the day, with the exception of RCA.  There is therefore no Elvis Presley on the soundtrack.

Not sure about you, but I'm off to HMV to try and get my hands on a copy (it has been on HBO recently, but I want this one on dvd).

So to round this one off, still on the idea of DJs and Radio Stations, here's probably the least favourite, damn right scary station out there.  Some say its a Russian dead hand system... or maybe they're just reserving the frequency for later, all we know is its called UVB-76: The Buzzer.  And it broadcasts this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and has been doing so for many years now...

 

Lock up your children.  In Soviet Russia the radio turns YOU off!

Let's Hear it for Tie-Land

Thank God for Thailand.  Living in Singapore we're blessed with a large number cheap airlines including Tiger, Jetstar, Air Asia etc, that can whisk us away to the likes of Phuket in 90 minutes (not much longer than it takes to get the ferry to Bintan, and no silly visas that take up a whole page of the passport), and Bangkok in just under two hours.  It also helps being able to go through Changi, which is one of the world's better airports on the way through...

I was in Phuket last weekend, heading up again for a boys weekend next weekend, then in early June its a cheeky weekend away in Bangkok, followed by another trip up to Phuket in early July.  Yep if you're onto a good thing, stick to it.

A few pictures from last weekend's effort...

Dodgy power lines, girly bars, you know you've made it to Bangla Road when...

Awesome food, this was at a restaurant literally on the beach.  Where better to try a bit of sweet & sour fish...

Ad-hoc booze bus... compared to Singapore the beer is so cheap in Thailand that on a recent trip, I almost returned with a small profit...

And the beaches, so many beautiful beaches...

This is the Phuket coast line...

And of course, the beautiful sunsets...

A Wee Walk

Four day weekend for me this time round, with the additional day off to show my Dad around town on Friday and May Day holiday tomorrow.  We were not quite organised enough to book a trip away for this one, so its Sunday afternoon and we're starting to crack from lack of things to do. 

So to help pass some of the time I can at least update a bit of this, with some pictures from a walk we did a couple of weeks back.

First things first, a quick check of the weather on the day:

Yep, nice and hot all year round.  33 degrees C that day to be exact and was sweating up a storm right next to the resevoir, so if you're planning visiting Singapore any time soon I'd hold off drinking the tap water for a bit.

Here we are, at the map of the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve.  Note the yellow trail:  12km in total, plus the treetop walk.  Why build up to these things when you can just give the hardest one a crack on the first go?

Walking for a while, mainly through the rainforst canopy was actually not bad and was almost nice and cool...

Closer to the lake again and we found a rowing course.  Now walking in this heat is one thing, but rowing must be a whole new world of pain. Respect.

Moving along, and the fauna came into abundance.  Monkeys everywhere.  And they were all rooting like rabbits all over the place, as if that's all they ever do.  Again, respect to them.

Don't ask me what that other thing coming out of its backside is.  Continuing, we made it past the halfway point (after which there was no turning back), and solidered onto the treetop walk.  Which was really scenic, trees as far as the eye could see and hard to believe we were so close to town.  Unfortunately what goes up, must come down...

By this point the legs had been absolutely pulverised, but still we walked...

And onto the home stretch, until finally the MacRitchie Resevoir Dam itself came into view.  Job done.

And there we have it, one entire loop completed on time, and on budget. 

On a sidenote, we got a cab out to the start of the walk thinking it was going to be a good half hour drive from our place.  It actually turned out to be less than five minutes and five dollars away, which is maybe a little too close for comfort.  Maybe next time we head out there we'll check the weather to make sure its not going to be a belter before embarking on a 14km walk in the tropical head.  Regardless, its a decent walk and was good to get out of the apartment for a few hours.  I give it 4.5 chefs hats.

Where's My Football

Things Bogans Like.  Bit of quality reading there, and good to see our national sport, AFL, features prominently on the list.

Me personally, I don't mind a bit of the AFL and have been an avid supporter of the mighty Carlton Blues for many years.  Which is easier said than done away from Melbourne, let alone Australia.

Luckily in Singapore (and in Asia in general) we have the Australia Network to help keep us in touch with sporting happenings back home.  Or at least we used to.  See they used to show a lot of the AFL, NRL (league), and Super 14 (union matches).  Unfortunately this year the league disappeared from their coverage, so some guy wrote the CEO of the network a letter, which was responded to as such:

"...in any case in the future, sports programming on the channel should be limited, as “much of the Sports [football] historically shown appeal more to the expatriate community rather than the target audience.” Consequently, sports programming - be it NRL, rugby or AFL - will be significantly restricted on the channel after August 2011".

OK let me get this straight.  A network funded by Australian taxpayers (albeit residents actually paying tax in Australia), showing sporting matches from back home to the expatriate communitity is not the target audience?  Who bloody well is this target audience then?  Chinese people that want to keep on top of whats happening to those morons down at Summer Bay?  Malaysians keen to see how tree-hugging hippy dole-bludgers operate?  Or basically anyone other than hard working Australians living overseas, who are happy to see their hard-earned taxes being pissed up the wall yet again but a Labor government that would struggle to organise a chicken raffle, let alone run a country.

RIP football on the Australia Network.  And no, I'm not paying for Setanta for the privilege of watching sport once it disappears.  Used to deal with those pricks while I was living in London and can honestly say that alongside Ryanair and certain mobile phone operators, they are by far the worst organisation I've ever had the displeasure of dealing with.

Starhub Logic (or Lack of)

Starhub are at it again with their classic ignorance and typical Singaporean can-not attitude.  Actually this is nothing new, at least its been around since I arrived almost a year ago now.  Imagine this:

Let's just say you wanted to get a pre-paid SIM card for your phone.  Simple enough.  And let's just say you wanted someone to be able to call you, without you having to pay for the privelege.  After all its normally the caller that pays for the call, so this sounds fair enough right?

Well you're in luck, because on Starhub you get FREE INCOMING CALLS ON PREPAID!!!*

Not sure about where you are, but where I'm sitting there are bells and whistles going off, and someone just realeased a few thousand baloons from an HDB flat over at Novena.  Happy Days!!

* But hang on... that may have been a case of premature congratulation.  I just checked the fine print, and there's actually a $0.59 daily fee for each activation (including re-activation) of on-demand 'Free' Incoming Calls.

Not sure which planet you are from but to me that means incoming calls are not actually free at all!!  Feeling used and abused I tried taking to one of the Starhub muppets in-store about this slight 'oversight', and true to the script, they rattled off "sorry cannot waive lah, incoming calls are definitely free once you've paid the 59 cents".  Fucking muppets.

New Toy

Camera envy is a major problem in Singapore, where tourists and locals alike have no issue in carrying around their hardware, foot-long lenses and tripods wherever they go.  Especially on weekends.  Its just a shame there's not a lot to take photos of, excluding the zoo of course, which means hundreds of happy-snappers converging on MBS every weekend.

Never one to miss out on a bandwagon, I've decided to upgrade my simple point-and-shoot compact camera to something (slightly) more substantial.  Working for a UK bank the budget was somewhat limited, and given the issues I've had with Canon cameras previously, decided to give the Nikon a go. 

I ended up with a D3100, and am very, very happy.  It puts a new spin on weekends when you can head out and take photos of stuff, and gives me something to do on holidays while Keryn is reading her magazines.  Good result all round, really.

Such a hyporcite, this is the palm tree selection outside the Marina Bay Sands.  That pyramid-shaped building on the right I believe will soon be the new Avalon Nightclub which should be interesting...

 

Here we have the bikes left behind by the construction workers in what they call 'downtown'

And one from Singapore's Arab corner, which is an interesting spot.  The 7-11s in the area sell no booze...

Paradise on Earth, Berjaya Resort at Langkawi.  Could have stayed here forever.

And lastly, just to prove I'm not the kind of person that spends their Saturdays at home uploading pictures of their cat to the internet...

Keef

I'm getting into a cracker of a book at the moment, Life by Keith Richards, or Rolling Stones fame, aka "that trashbag from the Strolling Bones".

Its a struggle to keep the brakes on at the moment as we're away for in Bintan this weekend, and I want to save some to read by the pool.  Its one of those books that almost makes you chuck a sickie at work in order to stay home for the day and polish it off...

I'm only 140 pages in and its taken a while to get going, and goes a long way to explain how the 'Stones became superstars almost overnight.

Some of the quality stories so far...

"The thing is, with the Beatles and us, it was a very friendly relationship.  It was also very cannily worked out... I remember John Lennon calling me and saying 'Well we've not finished mixing yet."  "We've got one ready to go." "OK, you go first."

and talking about the screaming girls at their early shows...

"a few did get hurt, and a few died.  Some chick third balcony up flung herself off and severely hurt the person she landed on, underneath, and she herself broke her back and died.  Now and again shit happened.  But the limp and fainted bodies going by us after the first ten minutes of playing, that happened every night.  Or sometimes they'd stack them up on the side of the stage because there were so many of them.  It was like the western front."

Brilliant.  Let's bring this one home with a tune...

 

Nearly...

Putting in some massive strides at work at the moment for very little return, which is a whole other story, but one way or another on the 6th of December what we're doing at the moment MUST be done.  Never mind that's my girlfriend's birthday... or that stage two falls on my birthday next march.  Coincidnece?  For the record I told the project manager our anniversary, and loads of other important dates next year so they she can incorporate those into the plans for next year too.

At the risk of sounding bittter, I've booked Christmas and New Years off, to head home.  Not sure what to make of Sydney after leaving it all behind in April... but will hopefully be back there again next year to re-equanint myself with it on project "Bondi", which is a bad idea idea for a name (not mine), I'd requested "Project Wooloomooloo" which was flatly rejected, as was "Operation Dingo Stoly my Baby"... you get the idea...

Anyhow, in case you hadn't noticed.... 1 AUD now equals 1 USD, which makes me wonder, when is the USD going to reach parity with the Aussie dollar? (don't bother answering that because I just had a look, and its a reduntant question, was funny at the time)...

But maybe I digress, and the real converstation is to be had around....

 

Or maybe not, given that nobody in Australia gives one about Rugby duing the northern Hemisphere Winter (we'll peak next year when it really matters), and we have a far more important contest coming up very, very soon:

Oh yeah.

Two eveny matched teams.  One urn.  One dream.  Bring it on.  For the record, I'm In Sydney when the Melbourne test is on, and in Victoria when the Sydney test is on.  Still not quite sure how I manged to fark that one up so much, but never mind.  Most importantly, I'll be having bbq's in the sun cooking barbeques while everyone in the UK sits around in the Winter wondering what Mr Cameron's going to cut next.

As for the urn itself, I'd previously belived it should be held in the country that won the last test series but have recently changed my tune.  Its probably better off staying in the UK, either:

• BA will pull a strike
• or Qantas will take off, fly around for a bit, and land back into where they started with only one engine.

May the best team win.

Anyway, to sign off;

Kasabian "Fire", which they're now using as the background music on the SG football channel...

Phamily Foto

Brilliant.

Yeah... Doing It

Updates have been a bit lacking of late, as usual, there's been a bit going on, work is busy again which makes sense, that's why we're in Singapore after all.  Luckily I'm getting away with generally twelve hour days at worst, whereas the girlfriend has been doing some two or three in the morning missions which is a bit rough given I'm the one that dragged her over here (I feel personally responsible).  Seems to be through the worst of it now though. 

To celebrate I found some good ang-mo (local term for Westerners) food on the way home, a Shepherd's Pie shop near Clarke Quay Station, and a decent wine shop to boot.  Ended up with some good food and a really nice bottle of Aussie red for just over $50, which aint a bad result over here.

To celebrate I took the SBS transit train home, 'so what' I hear you think... well let's just say that on the SBS line you don't have to listen to this, as opposed to all the other lines:

 

As in "OMG its a TRAIN coming.  Thank GOD.  I thought that metal looking thing heading down the tracks was some kind of loch ness style thing coming to get me!!"

Repeat ad-nauseum several hundred times daily and you'd rather slit your wrists. 

Oh well, could be worse, could still be living in Sydney where they use timetables and all the Asian tourists walk around wondering wtf is happening.

Moving right along, have had some good value conversations at the pub over the last couple of weeks.  For example, did you know...

1 - One of my managers is mentioned several times as the guy that busted Nick Leeson, well known in Singapore for the 'rogue trader' scandal.  I'm still toying with the idea of opening an '88888' account and booking some really dodgy futures trades, then waiting to see what happens...

2 - Struggling to tell if that 'girl' at the bar is who she says she is?  Ask her to extend her arm... guys can get 180 degrees, only girls can go further.  In an age where Adams Apple removal is part of the package, this one never fails.

3 - A few weeks ago now, but watching a Grand Prix in the flesh is a must-do.  Even if they do look like glorified go-cart racers just going round and round and round and round, its an amazing event to get to.  And don't take no shit off local cab drivers telling you it doesn't bring any cash into the local economy on the way home.

4 - The airline industry - doing it rough?  They're now flying bigger planes more often, and still manage to charge more.  In many cases, lots more.  We recently booked flights back to Australia and NZ over Christmas, and you could feed a starving family in the UK for a year with what what we paid. 

5 - Parity?  At the time of writing, one AUD = 0.9961 USD.  You've come a long way, baby.  I recall when I first started working in a bank and the good old Aussie battler was worth a paltry 48 US cents.  'Banana republic' they called us.  Who's laughing now, biatches!!  Except that a strong dollar hurts tourism, exports, and especially when you're only earning the good old SGD.  Next stop: GBP.

6 - Liverpool FC.  Cannot say I'm a fan, but still, who's bright idea was that?

7 - I've become a massive sucker for lists?

Before I go, a few tunes that have been keeping me going lately:

On a Good Day - (16 Bit Lolitas Remix) - Oceanlab

Rapture - Blondie - word is this was the first ever 'rap' tune.  Word.

All Night Long - Lionel Ritchie - put in a brilliant pre-game performance at the AFL Grand Final to earn much respect among the Aussie yobbo contingent, including myself.

Adam Kancerski - All Day Long (Cold Blue Remix) - massive dance tune.

Let's do it

Seeing as we're still awake, let's nail a bit of this one down:

Who would have won in a fight between Nirvana & Pearl Jam?  Good question... got a coin?

Happy 60th...

Big shout-out to one of the big daddies of the entertainement industry, turning 60 somewhere round here.  Fans of Zombieland will have had a recent renaisance with the guy, and for anyone else, its probably time to rediscover Bill Murray.

Deadset legend, funny guy, comedian, and one of the best.  Just another movie star?  I beg to differ.  How many people can pull out stops including:

Meatballs

Caddyshack

Stripes

Ghostbusters

Groundhog Day

Lost in Translation

et al

Ok there are probably some rubbish ones in there as well, himself included admitted "Garfield" was pretty rubbish.  But for all-round comedic genius, including a good stint on Saturday Night Live, few have done it better.

60 Bill Murray Facts from The Guardian.

Like a bit of proof with your pudding?  How about some Bill Murray, on David Letterman in 1982.  Clearly wasted, but still handles it well.

Sure... if you're after funny, Australia's had a few cracks at it, if you're after a laugh check out anything by the (Australian) Late Show with Tony Martin or Rob Sitch, any early stand-up by Dave Hughes, or more recently, Akmal Saleh. Bill Murray level... probably not. But still funny all the same:

Bunch of Cnuts

Starhub Singapore, bunch of pricks that they are.  Have been holding off on this one for a while but it seems the more people I speak to, the more people have been duped with their same Shiite.  Unless you happen to live in a government flat, like 95% of the population.  Yes, I'm a big idiot Westerner they can take for a ride, seemingly happy to play along with the facade that Singapore can pretend its a "regional hub" when most of the services here (public transport excluded) would rate pretty poorly among even third world countries.

Case in point:  we recently moved into a new (privately owned flat) and had to choose between two internet providers.  Cartel, anyone?  Anyway, having had not too many bad experiences with my mobile I decided to go with Starhub.  Massive mistake. 

Sucked in on my part with the "we've upgraded the basic download speed from 8mps to 16mps" sales pitch.  Maybe I was naiieve because living in Hong Kong, London, or even Sydney 8mps is pretty much a given these days.  I repeat, even Sydney, which is at one end of the World.  Little did I know that 16mps is the whole download limit for the WHOLE BUILDING (i.e. 60 apartments) and we regularly struggle for 100kps. 

Seriously, the old dial-up in Sydney was faster fifteen years ago.  Even a given, anywhere else in the world, like listening to a 128kps radio station becomes a massive chore because its constantly re-buffering.  And any complaints I have include using the wireless broadband thing in conjunction to the broadband, which is plugged into the router via Lan cable, to make sure there's no interference.  And being Singapore, try and talk to anyone at Starhub about either fixing the issue ("are you sure your computer is plugged in?") down to attempting to terminate the contract early because of the rubbish service ("cannot") leaves a very bad taste in the mouth. 

Singapore, a world city?

*LOL*

as a post-note, I've had to save this post, and attempt to post it three times before it actually did what I wanted without it timing-out.

Guess Where I'm Going?

Its been a busy couple of months.  I got a new job.  A good one.  In Singapore.  Unfortunately the girlfriend and the cat are yet to join me, but assure me they'll be over this way soon.  Hope they can handle the humidity.

Part of my training involves writing this in the Business Lounge at Changi, waiting for the flight to London for a twelve day training / meeting / drinking / catchup session.  Boo-yah.

What better way to celebrate than a bit of Oasis "I am the Walrus", Live at the Electric Proms 2008.   Better than the original?  Maybe, just maybe.

More later when things have settled down a bit and my laptop gets its act together.

And Today We Celebrate...

Beer.

Need I say anymore? 

And Australian Beer no less.  Bit sorry for any overseas folk than can neither access - nor have any interest in - our local brews (or have a hangover), but I think its time for this blog to give a little bit back to the one thing that has given it so much.

Today I give you, a brief summary of Australian beers (in no particular order).

First up, the best beer in the world, Carlton Draught.  Or at least it used to be, before we got all carbo-conscious and turned to the new generation Pure Blonde instead (see below).  Brewed by none other than Carlton & United Breweries - owned by Fosters Brewing Group (who actually don't own the rights to any of the Fosters brewed overseas), and designed to taste like Fosters used to, if that makes any sense at all, this is the staple of many a new generation of Australian beer drinkers.

Token ad campaign:  More Horses / Metal Thing:  Carlton Draught

Next, its Carlton Draught's country cousin, Victoria Bitter (VB).  Not held in as high esteem as its Carlton Draught cousin, I kid you not it comes from the same brewery, and shares a very similar history.  Not that it matters much... my only memories of it involve our local around ten years ago, knocking these back while my "learned" Victorian friends friendlily asked why I wasn't drinking the "[Carlton] Draught" instead.  Point of difference at the time I guess, buggered if I know now!  Looking back, it tasted like cats piss (see also Tooheys New), and probably always will.

Token ad campaign (fresh!!!):  The Regulars (Full Length Version)

Turd, sorry... third.  Pure Blonde.  From the Carlton / Fosters Stable, and designed to taste as much like Carlton as possible... but with only a third of the carbs!!!!   For the guys that care a great deal about their weight when they're out drinking ten schooners a night, but forget about the whole thing on the way home by either [a] ordering a pizza when we they get there or [b] dodgy kebab on the way (which can also be a great weight loss regime in itself, and / or makes a handy excuse for a sick day at work). 

Token ad campaign:  Dove Love - Pure Blonde

Moving inter-state now (for anyone that knows Australia, it may as well be another country), to NSW.  My home state, but unfortunately not well known for its beer-brewing prowess (aka my Dad refusing to drink "that NSW swill"). 

Tooheys New.  Rubbish Beer.  Claims to be popular, but only because it holds exclusive rights with Randwick Racecourse, ANZ (Olympic) Stadium et al.  Very rarely do you meet anyone that admits to drinking this beer, and you never meet anyone that enjoys it. Brewer (Lion Nathan) was recently taken over by Kirin Brewing Japan, God knows what they plan to do with this cats piss.

Token ad campaign (old-school).  Self-Titled:  Tooheys New.  Obviously aimed at the Kiwi market, and obviously failed because they all hate the stuff too.

Another attempt at a New South Beer:  how about Hahn Premium.  Actually not that bad, and quite decent ... sometimes.  Just gets you quite bloated, and nobody wants that with our weather at the moment.

Token ad campaign (fresh!!):  Hahn Premium - Stay Premium (Gentlemen)

Not to be confused with the Hahn Premium Light Ad a few years ago where the guy jumps in the bath which was completely awesome (look it up yourself dammit)

The only other beer worthy of mention here is XXXX, thus named because inhabitants of its native Queensland cannot spell "beer".  On the other hand if you haven't heard that joke before it is thy time to remove thy head from under thy rock and join the real world -  where nobody drinks xxxx.

XXXX.... have tasted it (in Queensland), didn't like it.  At risk of pissing off our (very offensive) Queensland Neighbors, lets just leave it at that and hopefully start a mutiny where they (finally) secede from the rest of us.

[***ERROR - no good XXXX beer ads found ****]

So, to finish things off, a list of beers that are worth a six pack:

1. Carlton Draught
2. Pure Blonde
3. VB (but only just)
4. Tooheys Extra Dry
5. Hahn Super Dry
6. Becks
7. Carlton Dry
8. Heineken - on a good day
9. Little Creatures Pale Ale
10. Bin tang (but only while in Indonesia)
11. that is all.

And a list of beers that are not:

1. Carlsberg
2. Bintang (except when in Bali)
3. Tooheys New (under any circumstances)

To finish things off, an absolute classic from years ago... you can get it cranking, you can get it [....], you can get it [....] a cow... matter of fact I've got it now VB

Just in Case

Just in case you missed it, this is one brilliant tune.  Kasabian Fire, Live...

& while we're at it, Bloc Party I still Remember, from a few years back, just in case you missed it.  Weird lyrics, awesome song.  Fact.

Standing... Corrected

A bit of tuneage for the day, including a bit of a shoutout to the Triple J Hottest 100, 2009 which took place on Australia Day as always:

• The Temper Trap Fader (also well known for their tune Sweet Disposition doing the rounds at the moment)
• Ultra Flirt The Time is Now 2009 (Bonebox Remix)
• Simian Mobile Disco Audacity of Huge
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So how wrong I was about the Australian Open... turns out that Nadal chap has retired hurt - or maybe he just needs to harden the @#$% up a bit - and the UK's favorite Scot Englishman has just won through to the next round.  he's currently on tv being being interviewed by that massive knob, Jim Courier, reminding why I do hate tennis so much.

Speaking of knobs, how's this guy's parking?  Got even better when the roof car park at the local westfield filled up later on that day, and this clown was taking up two spots.

Things about the Australian Open that shit me # 27:  the sponsor list.  Seriously... check it out.  They even have an official supplier of "prestige furniture", giving me even more proof that the whole event is nothing more than one high velocity wankfest from start to finish.

All Aboard

Happy Australia Day to everyone.  A great day to throw a few lamb chops on the barbie, watch the cricket, and generally celebrate Australian-ness.  Only downside is its on a Tuesday this year so the holiday will be short lived.  Except the half a million or so that chucked a sickie yesterday to make it a four weekend.  And the hundred thousand or so that will take tomorrow off too and go for the jackpot, five day weekend.  God bless.

This end of January in Australia of course means we get bombarded with coverage of the Australian Open Tennis, and its all aboard the bandwagon as it lurches and moans towards an epic finale, that like all tennis, is about as predictable as a hangover after a few too many beers.  Typical Aussies get right behind our local heartthrob Lleyton Hewitt, until he invariably gets booted out just before the finals (no problem there last night), before switching allegiances to either of the Fed Express (cool nickname - not) or that Nadal chap.  Yawn.

As for us last night, we went off to see Groove Armada Live, just down the road.  Which was also a bit of a yawn.  Hate it when bands insist on playing all their new crap instead of their old stuff.  Even worse is when they start playing old stuff then cut it off half way through to play new rubbish instead.  So to make myself feel better thsi morning I've been watching....

Groove Armada - Chicago - Live (2004)

Let's Hear it for NZ

I'm quite enjoying a quiet weekend back in Sydney, with no weddings to attend to, and no hangover.  Its been five days since my last drink - last night would have been the first Friday night in a while I've gone without at least a bottle of red - and feeling better by the day. 

Massive sunburn.  Four day hangover.  Baby steps!

Feeling a bit reflective so I've put together some quintessential pics from NZ's South Island

Driving down the main north-south Highway, following a logging truck:

Freebies in the chicks mags - Jandals!!! 

Queenstown.  No joke here, just a really beautiful part of the World.

And at a town in the Deep South, where if you need head into town to get the milk, why drive a car when you can drive a...

 

Not Happy, Jan

Following on my post last week about Mr Murdoch and his ridiculous pay-per-read plan, I'd now like to nominate the following groups for services to the Australian community who can also go and get stuffed...

First up its our Australian-Croatian and Australian-Serbian friends, who year after year see it fit to show everyone just how unwell the two groups get along, at no less than the Australian Open tennis in Melbourne.  hey if you're going to do it, why not do it on the World stage?

This lot will throw flares at each other (a very European tradition, their parents must be so proud), start fights with each other, hurl disgusting chants at each other when there are women and children present just trying to watch the tennis, and generally behave like massive dickheads.  All so they can further the tradition of a war that happened thousands of kilometers away, in an area most of them have probably never visited, for reasons they'll never comprehend. 

Still, Australia has been a fairly race-violence free place until now, so I salute you for bringing your hatred towards each other over here.

Next up its our Australian "Yobbo" mates.  Don't get me wrong, I'm about as Australian as the next guy (as in if you trace my family tree three generations back you'll find yourself somewhere in Europe), I love to cook lamb chops on the barbie, going for swims down the beach, getting excited whenever I see a ute driving down the street, and wearing thongs / flip-flops / jandals everywhere, but there's a new breed of the Australian Yobbo that's taken the thing to a whole new level.

I am of course referring to the lot that tattoo the Southern Cross all over them like some kind of Aussie-Nazi swastika salute, and head out on Australia Day - next Tuesday - not to celebrate or reflect on what it means to be Australian, but to get as boozed up as possible and start fights with anyone and everyone - preferably anyone of Middle Eastern origin, such as the Cronulla Riots several years ago.

Hats (sunnies) off to you gentlemen, for taking what used to be a proud day in our national calendar, and twisting it around so much nobody wants to leave the house anymore. 

And just as a side-topic on that one, police last week requested that bottle shops and bars serve only low-strength booze all day, to stem the recent spike in alcohol related violence on our streets.  Naturally there was uproar.  Heaven forbid, only low strength beer all day!  I just think if we can't celebrate our national day without getting as boozed up as possible, we need to sit down and have a bit of a think about where we're going.

Last but not least, share a thought for our Indian friends in Melbourne, who have suffered through some terrible violence recently.  A couple of weeks ago an Indian graduate was stabbed to death outside his work, just last night an Indian cab driver was stabbed in the leg by a passenger, and yet a day goes by we don't hear some new horror story about something bad happening to someone.  As expected, the Indian press are having kittens about the whole thing, but let me assure you if it was Australians in the same boat over there, the reaction from our press would be far, far worse. 

Come on everybody... how a bit of peace, love, unity and respect?  Peace out, and get over it.  Let's not ruin this country like so many others in the World have been ruined before us.

Wee Bit Tired

Let me get this straight...

Thursday:  leaving drinks for a friend moving to Singapore.  Home by midnight so only spent a few hours at the pub, but man did we go hard while we were out.

Friday:  flight to New Zealand, and cocktail evening and wee town in the Deep South.  Met a nice lady called Windy, who I'm pretty sure would be called Wendy over here.  Had a few beers, and off to sleep in a single bed.

Saturday:  day of the wedding, where getting boozed is all part of the programme, to the point that 120 guests went through 90 bottles of sparkling wine and double the bar tab any "normal" wedding would go through.  We did well.  Also managed to get a massive sunburn that's still peeling today, so have really outdone myself with this one.

Sunday:  backyard bbq, loads more beer and wine, followed by an impromptu trip out to the pub.  Got there just in time, the guy was about to close, which was just as well for the owner as we must have pumped thousands into that place in the four short hours we were there.

Monday:  dropped the Rav 4 we'd hired back at Avis and endured one of the most hungover flights ever experienced, back to Sydney and reality.

Tuesday:  back to work with a stinging headache and some of the worst sunburn ever, walking around Sydney looking like a sun burnt tourist and promising myself I won't be drinking for a while.

Hangovers started hurting about ten years ago, so if they're like this now, I hate to think what they'll feel like in another ten years. 

News Just In...

Just in case you missed it, news just in from the Murdoch press about a bikini model left "shocked' and "horrified" after a conversation she thought was private ended up being aired on the radio, after she was questioned about her relationship with a media tycoon:

"I'm not with him anymore - I went on a couple of dates with [Sydney nightclub owner] Justin Hemmes and I sort of preferred Ryan, but things didn't work out" she goes on to say.

Seriously can someone please tell me how this equates to "news"?  And more worringly, why is this the most viewed story on Rupert's main Australian news website, news.com.au today?  I kid you not...

Talk about a dumbing down of society.  Its sometimes easy to think mankind has peaked, and will be living back in the trees sooner rather than later if things keep going the way they are.

Even more worrying are ongoing threats that Rupert will soon make us all pay to access his news sites online.  Which leads me to my point... if he thinks for one minute people will fork out bucks to read crap like this, he's got another thing coming.  There are many more free news websites out there, and almost all of them offer better quality reporting.  Still it looks like he's full steam ahead with it, good luck to him, I'm sure we'll all be entertained by the results.

With Friends Like These...

Another bout of quality YouTube action... with friends like these, who needs enemies?